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Changes challenge us to invent a new kind of life, whether we are aware of the need to or not......
This was demonstrated to me when recently I met a man named Ben at a gathering.  The topic of midlife came up in the discussion.  He said, "What is Midlife?  I just don't get it."

When I looked at him and listened to his story, I realized he really didn't.  Ben (not his real name) looked to be in his 50's, with graying hair.  He was in good shape.  He seemed to have a fit body for his age.

I asked him what he didn't understand about midlife.  He told me that he had had a family of older children with his first (divorced) wife and, is now is remarried to a younger wife.  As he spoke, I realized that he probably had not been a close witness to the passages of his first wife into empty nest and menopause, even if he had been in his older children's lives.  Maybe, being divorced and remarried to a younger woman, he had missed some of his ex-wife's midlife signals and his own, or it could be it didn't occur to him to label them as such.

"When we're young, we have a sense of being  immortal," I suggested.  "A young person thinks of loss and aging as a long way off.  When we get older, we become aware of our mortality and things start to change in our lives.  That's midlife."
Although I didn't say it, I was also aware that as we develop more of a sense of our mortality, we have the choice to consciously move with the changes that occur to us or resist them.  That's where freedom in midlife comes in.  We can reinvigorate and reinvent ourselves and that can be very freeing.

Our focus can shift, for example, to reaching for meaning and purpose in our lives or to dealing with life in a new way by developing new attitudes.  We can consider what we haven't done, that we always wanted to do, and take action on a new direction.  We can focus on what we want to pass on as a legacy to others and spend time creating that legacy.  On the other hand, we can deny that we're changing and act as though we are still in our twenties and thirties, with the same concerns we had then, which really don't fit us anymore.

After I expressed to Ben my definition of the meaning of midlife, a light bulb switched on in him......
He related that he recently suffered several losses over a short period of time.  He had gotten grief counseling.  In counseling, he was encouraged to write as a way of grieving consciously.  His writing became very meaningful to him.   Now he wants to write about his life experiences, as a legacy for his children.  I told him that it was a wonderful idea and just the right thing for him to do at midlife.

If you are also going through a midlife passage, consider the possibility that you might benefit from counseling, just as Ben did when he suffered his losses......
My counseling sessions are typically one hour in length.  In that hour I focus on helping you create the inner resources you need in order to address whatever is most relevant to you at a given time.  Working collaboratively, we bring awareness to your thoughts and feelings related to specific issues in your life and address anything blocking their movement and resolution.  Together, we work to cultivate your awareness, aliveness, and growth.  And, we celebrate the changes you make, whether they are large or small.

In my counseling practice, I use a variety of proven therapeutic techniques, including Gestalt therapy, Jungian dream work, expressive arts, and spiritual healing in working with my clients.  Click here for more information on the education and training and the approaches I use in therapy.

So, like Ben, you may be wondering if you might benefit from counseling, but perhaps you have legitimate concerns.  For instance, you may be wondering if you can afford counseling.
This is a common concern of many people.  Yet, they often find that counseling can be worth the money they spend.

Talking with a therapist can provide a safe, confidential place to express things sometimes a person just can't express to their friends and family.  Talking to an empathetic and understanding therapist can relieve suffering and give hope.

Counseling can enhance your life in ways that you might not expect, helping you address otherwise nagging concerns and enabling you to move forward with your life.

In my counseling practice, the fees I charge my clients are affordable and comparable with others who have my same level of training and experience.  I want to keep my fees reasonable so that my clients feel that they are getting good value for their money. 

You may have had other therapists who have not helped you in the ways you needed at the time.
Sometimes there isn't a good fit between a therapist and a client for a number of reasons.  For instance, the therapist might not be skilled in the therapies that are most needed by a person at a particular time in their lives.  Different therapies can effective at different times during a person's process of change.

A good book to read for insight on the topic of appropriate therapies for each step of a program of change is Changing for Good: A Revolutionary Six-Stage Program for Overcoming Bad Habits and Moving Your Life Positively Forward, by James O. Prochaska John Norcross, and Carlo DiClemente. You can buy it online at www.amazon.com

Also, it is possible that some therapies not fit at all for an particular individual.  For instance, one person might be helped by cognitive therapy to improve a bout of depression, whereas another might benefit from dream work to work their depression through to its conclusion.  A person might want to develop their spirituality and purpose in life as they work on significant issues, whereas another might not.  Fortunately, there are many different therapies for different circumstances to suit a variety of needs and preferences.

For this reason, I personally offer a free consultation to see if we might be a good fit to work together.   If you are interested in pursuing the possibility of counseling with me please contact me to set up a free consultationPlease be aware that there is no obligation to begin therapy after you receive your free consultation. 

Also, should you decide to begin therapy, you are always free to discontinue it at any time upon notifying me of your desire to terminate.

Best wishes to you in your midlife passages.